I am becoming an adult. Again.

I bought a fish.

I also bought a plant.

The real test will be whether I can keep these objects alive. When I went to buy the fish, the lady said it was the best way to start with pet parenting because they were so easy to care for. Meanwhile, I was frantically running over a mental checklist of all the things I would need to do to keep said creature alive.

She lies, my cat was not nearly this much work.

There's also the whole part about keeping myself alive. Or sane, really. I was not cut out for living alone. Except now it's me and my army of one little betta fish, one overly fat cat and one plant that claims to be impervious to inattentive owners.

I would say 'bring it on', but looking at the empty wine glass next to me, I remember why I wasn't a fan of living alone to begin with.

Boo hoo. But to that I say, 'to each his own struggle'. My struggle will to be surviving my boring office job, my long-distance relationship and the life-long battle of trying to create something for myself beyond my forty hour work week.

I want to feel normal again. It's been a long time since I've felt like I was in a place where I could concentrate on a task that involved brain power. I haven't written much in months. I haven't used my hands to make anything in a long time, either. Though I did bake something this evening, so I'd like to think that counts for something. But I want more. Not a lot, but I want to have something to be proud of again.

For now, though, I'd take 'successfully surviving on my own again' as an accomplishment.